Source : PERTHNOW NEWS
A self-proclaimed Aussie ‘modern trad wife’ has come out saying it’s a ‘cop out’ when families say they can’t afford to have a parent stay at home to look after the children, claiming they just need to be willing to make more sacrifices.
Gold coast local Aimie Stoevelaar left a career in real estate to be the primary caregiver to her two children, aged 3 and 11 weeks, while her husband of four years works as a fire safety estimator.
While the 29-year-old acknowledges that Australia’s cost-of-living pressures makes the idea of being a single income household challenging, she believes some families are too quick to assume its impossible.
“I think it’s a cop-out, people saying that they can’t afford it and two parents need to work,” she told the Daily Mail.
“If you really cared about raising the child and making sacrifices, you’d go with less. Buy a home within your means. You can do the groceries within your means.
“You don’t need a new pair of shoes every single season. You don’t need the newest things. It’s a luxury for women and mums to be able to get their hair and nails done.
“We make a lot of sacrifices as a family to live on that wage because our kids are the most important right now — we have the rest of our lives to make all this money back, but we don’t have the rest of our lives to raise our children again.”
Ms Stoevelaar believes parents should spend more time directly raising their children instead of relying solely on childcare and extended family.
“The world we are raising children in now is vastly different to the generation before us,” she continued.
“The modern world — nannies, day cares and grandparents actually raising our children — the birth parents are taking less and less accountability for their children and the role that needs to happen in raising a child.”
Before motherhood, Ms Stoevelaar admits the idea of being financially reliant on her husband was daunting but that quickly changed when she had her two sons.
“When I found out I first fell pregnant, the idea of relying solely on my husband was a really, really scary conversation but then it just became my life, and I think that’s incredibly important, to really invest in your children,” she continued.
“I’m lucky in the sense that I’m the primary caregiver for my children and I’m home full-time, but I think the modern mum has been allowed the luxury of making money online and delving into that space – I would call myself a modern trad wife.”
Ms Stoevelaar also understands why some mothers may be concerned about the financial vulnerability that can stem from being reliant on a partner’s income.
“I can see where other women would worry about what might happen if their husband leaves them — I see a lot of women stuck because of releasing that financial role that they play in a marriage and in a family,” she said.
“I personally don’t have those fears in our marriage. I know that he’ll always make sure that me and the kids are always looked after.”
Despite embracing the lifestyle, the mother-of-two says she rejects the glamorous image associated with being a trad wife that’s boasted online.
“The second you wake up, it’s kids, kids, kids. What do they need from the minute they wake up to the minute they go to bed. I tend to come last, but that’s okay,” she said.
“It’s a luxury to have people to care for, and people to raise, and people that love you, and to create a safe place.”
