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How to endure your syntax terror

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source : the age

“Reading this morning of the predicted demise of the world by AI, I wonder what the world would look like,” ponders Garry Thomas from Oatlands. “No work, little hope and continual breadlines where one would get bread, soup and a copy of the latest C8 to keep our morales up?”

“On a brighter note than dragonflies (C8) is the delight of fireflies up here,” says Suzanne Saunders of Jiggi. “Half a dozen or so is Christmas come early. Swarms would be brilliant.”

Noted head-turner Judy Bower of Burraneer is the latest to attest to a Sydney Bee Gees sighting (C8): “Many years ago I was walking towards the Chevron Hilton in Kings Cross with my mother, grandmother and great aunt. I was 15 at the time and who should walk past me but Barry Gibb. Naturally, I turned around after he had passed, and was very thrilled to see that he had done the same.”

A muso for years, that’s no fib.
You can tell by the cut of my jib.
A long time, and yet,
I can’t say that I’ve met,
Even one of the famed brothers Gibb.
We thank Jim Dewar of Davistown.

Trevor Townson of Leichhardt was just wondering: “Are Al Gore rhythms (C8) different from the ones used by the Trumpet Ministration that runs the White House?” Not sure, but the latter is pretty good at banging his own drum.

“Mushroom coffins (C8) obviously aren’t for everyone,” thinks Merona Martin of Meroo Meadow. “You’d have to be a fun guy to want one.”

Lionel Latoszek of Long Jetty thinks “the urban myth related by Peter Riley regarding peeing on car wheels (C8) has me puzzled. I always thought it was the exclusive vocation of the neighbour’s dog.”

“If those full-bladdered soldiers identified by Spike Milligan, who’d stopped for a pee were travelling in a Commer, the British military truck used in World War II, then it was entirely appropriate for the Commer to come to a full stop,” reasons Julian Neylan of Dulwich Hill.

Bernie Carberry of Connells Point has “noticed plenty of Americans interviewed on TV for the MCG NFL match. They do their best to say ‘Melbin’ and not ‘Mel-born’. I teach people our own The Rain in Spain elocution lesson to learn ‘Straylin’. Don’t open your mouth too wide and recite slowly: ‘The mail train is runnin’ late t’day, mate’.”

Column8@smh.com.au

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