source : the age
“Not all commuters were as adept as Lawford Steele (C8) at folding the broadsheet Herald,” advises Col Burns of Lugarno. “For the third consecutive day on the 7.30am rattler out of Cronulla, the same bloke sprawled page two in front of my mate Steve’s face. Sick of the intrusion, Steve ripped it straight off and began reading page one. Unsurprisingly, the self-absorbed space invader decided to board a different carriage the next day.”
David Atherfold of Avalon Beach recalls that “back in 1963 I was a young apprentice living at home with my parents. As handling a broadsheet on crowded public transport can be rather difficult I would take the easy way out and buy a tabloid. One day I made the mistake of bringing it home with me. My father spotted it and I recall his words to this day: ‘Either that repulsive thing goes or you go’. That’s when I perfected the skill of handling The Sydney Morning Herald.”
“The current Greens leader might be in need of a new moniker to tack onto his singular Shoebridge surname to join his colleagues, among whom are:
Jordon Steele-John
Sarah Hanson-Young
Peter Whish-Wilson
Elizabeth Watson-Brown
Steph Hodgins-May
I don’t know how they all acquired their hyphen but at least mine is a patronymic,” claims Charles Davies-Scourfield of Culburra Beach, or is that Culburra-Beach?
David Aston of Blackalls Park writes: “Noting recent cricket wordsmithery (C8) and having just read an article about China, if the president of China selected his own cricket team, would it be President XI’s President’s XI?”
“Further to Richard Ansoul’s missive, the captain of my themed dream team of close-up footage of nose pickers (C8) was Dean Jones,” offers Claire Ansoul of Maroubra, although as reported by the old man, she’s currently in Cape Town for the cricket. “Being filmed throwing up during his 1986 double century meant he was a shoo-in. P.S. Dad, don’t use me to try and get more Column 8 entries than me.”
“‘I can help you with that’. ‘Certainly’. ‘Will that be all for today?’ I hate this woman who is not a woman answering my questions on the telephone,” declares Chrissie Whitlock of Earlwood. “Please, please can we employ real telephonists who tell it like it really is? ‘He is on one of his long lunches’, ‘He’s hungover again’, ‘Not today, he’s having a row with his wife’.”
Column8@smh.com.au
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