Source : the age
Each week, Dr Kirstin Ferguson tackles questions on workplace, career and leadership in her advice column, Got a Minute? This week: escalating differences between colleagues, a career pivot in your 50s, and managing the unmanageable.
When you’ve acknowledged wrongdoing and accepted responsibility, is it time to draw a line under a workplace incident?Credit: Dionne Gain
Several weeks ago, I was involved in a workplace incident in which I reacted inappropriately during a conversation with a colleague. I acknowledge that my behaviour at that time was unprofessional, and I have taken full responsibility. I have proactively expressed my remorse, engaged with my supervisor respectfully, and offered and submitted a formal written apology. However, despite these efforts, my colleague has declined mediation, is now seeking conditions that resemble restrictions similar to an AVO, is limiting my movements at work, and is making further allegations. I am extremely distressed by these developments and concerned that this situation may escalate into formal proceedings which could have a lasting impact on my wellbeing, professional standing and reputation. What can I do?
It’s understandable that you’re feeling distressed. You’ve taken all the right steps since the incident you outline by acknowledging your part, offering a formal apology, co-operating fully with your supervisor, and maintaining professionalism despite the emotional strain. I can imagine you feel frustrated that your efforts to make amends are met not being with resolution, but with escalating allegations.
I would strongly encourage you to seek independent advice if you haven’t already done so – either from your HR representative (in writing, to document your concerns clearly), an employee assistance program (EAP), or external legal advice, if necessary. It’s important you also look after your own mental health right now. Document every interaction factually, keep records of your positive conduct, and continue holding yourself to the professional standards you’ve already shown.
I’m in my late 50s and have run my own yoga studio for the past 20 years. The pandemic really disrupted the momentum in our sector and as I head towards retirement, I’m thinking about what other types of work might be suitable. Running a studio is no longer financially viable. I don’t have a degree, but I do have a lot of business skill. I’m also after a high degree of flexibility (no pun intended) in working hours which suits our lifestyle as my partner is about to retire himself. What is your advice?
Firstly, I really admire the journey you’ve been on. Running your own studio for 20 years is no small achievement. The great news is you already have a highly transferable skill set: business management, customer service, financial oversight, community building, and probably a strong sense of emotional intelligence.
You might find opportunities in areas like small business consulting, coaching or mentoring (particularly for other wellness practitioners), freelance administration support, or even contract work in business development or customer experience roles. Plenty of businesses value experience over formal degrees, especially in roles where maturity, relationship management, and strategic thinking are key. Start by thinking about what you enjoy most – is it teaching, mentoring, organising, building relationships? From there, you can narrow in on roles that offer the flexibility you’re after while tapping into your natural strengths.
In my team we have a staff member who is extremely difficult and absorbs a disproportionate amount of my time to manage. They are unable to manage feedback and respond with over-the-top, emotional responses. Others in the team feel psychologically vulnerable given the history this person has of responding when someone says something. How do I manage a person like this when their personality is fundamentally at odds with the supportive yet hard-working culture we have carefully built up in our workplace?
Managing someone whose behaviour repeatedly unsettles the team is one of the hardest leadership challenges – especially when you’ve worked to create a positive, psychologically safe culture. The 80/20 rule often applies. That is, a small proportion of people typically consume a disproportionate amount of your time and energy.
When personality and emotional regulation are at odds with team values, it’s important to shift the focus to clear behavioural expectations. Rather than trying to “fix” emotional reactions, frame everything around observable behaviour and consistent standards: how feedback is received, how communication is handled, how colleagues are treated.
Set well-structured, calm, and regular check-ins focusing on behaviours and outcomes. Be specific about what is expected, what is not acceptable, and the impact their behaviour is having. Document everything carefully – not to “catch them out”, but to build a clear, factual foundation if further action becomes necessary.
Finally, it is critically important to protect your team. Ensuring they see you holding everyone to the same respectful standards reinforces their psychological safety and trust in your leadership.
To submit a question about work, careers or leadership, visit kirstinferguson.com/ask. You will not be asked to provide your name or any identifying information. Letters may be edited.
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