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In an age where high-definition video, forensic photo analysis and publicly available itineraries document nearly every move of a world leader, the Kremlin continues to bet on the world’s susceptibility to its crudest conspiracies.
The latest? France’s Emmanuel Macron, Britain’s Sir Keir Starmer and Germany’s Friedrich Merz were allegedly caught doing cocaine on a train on a diplomatic mission into Ukraine.
If you’ve missed the story, here’s what happened.
A short clip circulated online over the weekend showing the three leaders on a train bound for Kyiv. In it, Macron picks up a crumpled tissue, Merz grabs a plastic coffee stirrer and Starmer appears to smile across the table.
That was enough for Russian Foreign Ministry spokeswoman Maria Zakharova to claim the group had been doing cocaine – and forgot to hide the paraphernalia. She posted a lengthy diatribe on Telegram calling the tissue a “bag of cocaine” and the stirrer a “spoon for consumption”.
France, adopting a sharper strategy against Russian disinformation, responded quickly and bluntly on social media. “When European unity becomes inconvenient, disinformation goes so far as to make a simple tissue look like drugs,” a post on X read.
“This fake news is being spread by France’s enemies, both abroad and at home. We must remain vigilant against manipulation,” the Elysée wrote in an English-language post on X, all while zooming in on the supposed cocaine bag.
It was accompanied by annotated photos: one zoomed in and captioned, “This is a tissue for blowing your nose”; another showing the trio shaking hands with, “This is European unity to build peace”.
This would all be laughable – if it weren’t part of a very real and deliberate strategy to discredit European leadership and fracture the public’s trust in Ukraine’s allies. In this information war, the Kremlin isn’t chasing truth, but traction.
UK Prime Minister Keir Starmer, French President Emmanuel Macron and German Chancellor Friedrich Merz on a train to Kyiv last week. A tissue is on the table.Credit: AP
Paris’ new posture reflects an overdue recognition: the old playbook – ignore and rise above – no longer works when lies travel faster than truth. Macron’s team is done letting ridiculous rumours metastasise unchecked.
What may have once been dismissed as beneath a response – claims about Macron’s sexuality, his wife’s gender, George Soros-fuelled puppet strings, or Volodymyr Zelensky’s imaginary yachts – has had measurable consequences.
French intelligence says Russia’s GRU military intelligence agency has ramped up cyber warfare, targeting Europe’s information landscape, not just to surveil, but to seed chaos.
These fabrications often find their way across the Atlantic, where they mutate into tools of US domestic sabotage. A Russian-originated rumour that Zelensky used US aid to buy yachts was repeated by elected members of American Congress during critical debates over Ukraine’s military funding. That delay cost Ukraine battlefield advantage. The lie became policy.
Russia’s propaganda machine alleged the leaders were doing cocaine and neglected to hide the paraphernalia.Credit: AP
So while a tissue on a table might seem innocuous – or even funny – it fits squarely into the Kremlin’s broader strategy: ridicule, delegitimise, destabilise.
Zakharova’s Telegram post – long, unhinged and characteristic of her social media screeds – recycled old tropes about Zelensky being a drug addict. Now she claims a “Western diplomat” told her that cocaine is standard fare among European elites.
It is classic Russian propaganda: sexually charged, drug-laced and always heavy with innuendo. Less intelligence brief, more high school rumour mill. But it works because it is relentless.
The French, after years of restraint, are now leaning into a counter-disinformation strategy that calls lies what they are – and shows receipts. It’s not about arguing on the Kremlin’s terms, but undercutting their theatre of absurdity with surgical clarity.
Misinformation: Russian Foreign Ministry spokeswoman Maria Zakharova.Credit: AP
This is more than a public relations pivot. It’s a recognition that digital warfare is no longer a future threat – it’s happening in real time and it shapes perceptions faster than traditional diplomacy can catch up.
Zakharova didn’t pull this claim from nowhere. She built on posts by anonymous pro-Russia bloggers on Telegram, many of whom specialise in doctoring footage and crafting narratives that appeal to anti-elite sentiments across the West.
These stories spread in fringe corners first – but like so many before, they can be legitimised with a single quote from a Russian official, and then laundered into mainstream discourse by bad-faith actors and conspiracy-curious commentators.
One French-language pro-Kremlin account quipped, “Coke is going to take decisions on the third world war.” As satire, it’s dull. As strategy, it’s effective.
The diplomatic train trip that sparked the controversy – taking Macron, Starmer, Merz and others to Kyiv to meet Zelensky – was, in fact, a powerful symbol of European unity.
The leaders stood shoulder to shoulder, pledging fresh sanctions and urging a ceasefire. Russia’s answer was to reduce it to a farce, hoping that distraction would win out over diplomacy.
But Paris is no longer playing along. The new doctrine is call it early, call it clearly, and don’t dignify it with a delay.
Macron’s spokesperson posted the tissue shot within 24 hours of the rumour gaining traction. It was dry, literal and devastating in its simplicity. By responding not with outrage but with matter-of-fact mockery, the French flipped the script.
And yet, the war over reality rages on. As Western leaders arrive in Ukraine by train, Russia arrives via meme. One group carries coffee stirrers and ceasefire proposals; the other, Telegram channels and tissue theories.
For now, the world is watching to see who wins that battle – not in the trenches, but online.
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