Source : the age
In last week’s column I responded to someone who had been focused on building wealth but had lost motivation now that they had reached their goal.
I offered some insights that might help this person redefine the purpose of work, how they find meaning in the journey and process, and expand their definition of success.
Financial advice sometimes isn’t about telling someone what they should do with their time but engaging them in a process that allows them to arrive at a conclusion for themselves.Credit: Simon Letch
As many readers noted, I did not prescribe donation, philanthropy or volunteering. Why not?
Today, I’m expanding on that conversation. Here are some perspectives that help inform the approach I take when dealing with people’s questions about money, whether they are wealthy or not.
‘Shoulds’ aren’t inspiring – for rich or poor
The financial realm is full of ‘shoulds’. We see this on both sides of the spectrum.
Those who have more often look at those who have less and think, “You should save more, you should stop spending on useless things. You should learn to invest.”
Donating doesn’t buy you immediate fulfilment, just like buying investments doesn’t buy you the feeling of security.
On the flip side, those who have less often look ahead and think: “You should donate more. You shouldn’t spend on extravagance. You should stop chasing more.” Notice how they’re just the opposite sides of the same coin?
Neither are particularly productive. In fact, if you look at the undertone, both can be laced with judgment, criticism, expectation and ultimately lack of empathy for the individual.
Unsurprisingly, this rarely inspires meaningful behaviour change. In fact, it can even exacerbate the unwanted behaviour by deepening feelings of shame, regret and resistance.
I say this having helped hundreds of people completely transform their savings ability and attitude – without telling them what they ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t’ spend money on.
What’s the key? Not prescribing what people should do but supporting them in discovering what they want to do and why, so that they’re internally driven to create meaningful change.
Money and meaning are separate journeys
Once, a friend of mine couldn’t help but wonder what the chief executive of their company (who earned in the millions) could possibly want ‘more’ for. I pointed out that maybe he doesn’t want more. Maybe he’s just great at what he does, so why stop?
To get to a point where you’re making way more than enough money, you often have to spend a considerable amount of time getting good at a skill or position that pays very well.
Initially, you might have been motivated by money. Now, having spent so much time mastering this activity, you may have started to really enjoy it. This can become hard to ‘switch off’.
Think about it – if a professional spends decades getting really good at their craft, should they stop doing it just because they now have enough money that they no longer ‘need’ to?
Is it reasonable to expect someone who spent decades honing a highly paid skill to suddenly start deriving the same level of fulfilment from a different area of work, like volunteering?
Would a professional tennis player immediately be able to get the same level of satisfaction teaching tennis to underprivileged communities as they do on the court themselves? Maybe, maybe not. That’s certainly not for me to prescribe.
Again, it’s not about telling someone what they should do with their time, it’s about engaging them in a process that allows them to arrive at a meaningful conclusion for themselves.
The solution isn’t about a prescription but a process
We often want the quick fix. Want wealth? Just start investing. Want to save more? Spend less. Want more fulfilment? Volunteer, donate, give back to society. But it’s not the action itself that is the solution.
Firstly, taking action alone doesn’t guarantee emotional outcomes. Donating doesn’t buy you immediate fulfilment, just like buying investments doesn’t buy you the feeling of security.
Secondly, if it were so simple, why don’t we all act in accordance with our best interests? Because of what’s in the way of taking the action; the fears, doubts, insecurities, and so on.
So it’s not enough to simply prescribe different actions – it’s about understanding what’s stopping someone from taking the actions that would create the results they want.
Telling someone to volunteer, without helping them build a connection to causes they care about, is as futile as telling someone to invest, without helping them overcome their fear of investing.
Lasting, sustainable change doesn’t come from just telling someone what to do. It comes from engaging them in a process to build a deeper connection to the life they really want to create for themselves – and overcoming the roadblocks that are stopping them from creating it.
This is when taking the ‘right’ action stops being an obligation or chore and starts being an intentional choice, a decision you are consciously making towards a life you hope to create.
Paridhi Jain is the founder of SkilledSmart, which helps adults learn to manage, save and invest money through financial education courses and classes.
- Advice given in this article is general in nature and not intended to influence readers’ decisions about investing or financial products. They should always seek their own professional advice that takes into account their own personal circumstances before making any financial decisions.
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