Source : the age
By Katie Cunningham
John Aiken has been overseeing the matchmaking on Married at First Sight for ten years. And every season, he says, the job finds new ways to shock him. “The biggest surprise for me this season was the role of TikTok,” says Aiken, who serves as one of the show’s three expert hosts.
“People are developing their dating mindsets from social media, so what you’re going to see this year is some quite extreme views about men, women, relationships,” he says. “And it’s jaw dropping – when you hear it, see it, you’re gonna pull your hair out.”
Married at First Sight experts: dating coach Mel Schilling, relationship specialist John Aiken and sexologist Alessandra Rampolla.Credit: Channel Nine
Married at First Sight returns on January 27 for its 12th season, when it will take a new batch of Australian singles to the altar, ‘wed’ them to complete strangers, and task them with trying to build a functional relationship.
The marriages aren’t legally binding, which is a good thing, given most of the pairings spectacularly implode before the season’s end. But the resulting fireworks sure keep viewers hooked – for its most recent season finale, MAFS, as it’s better known, drew a timeslot-winning national audience of 2.7 million.
It’s also become a runaway hit in the UK and won over famous fans like singer Sam Smith and author Clementine Ford along the way.
Around 12,000 Australians apply to be part of the reality juggernaut each year, says Aiken. And with them, those applicants bring bold new ideas about the rules of dating – which this season included theories about ‘tradwives’ (women who take traditional gender roles in marriage), ‘warrior mindsets’ and dealbreakers so outrageous they’d halt any relationship in its tracks.
Happily ever after?Credit: Nine
Those controversial ideas, lifted straight from the internet, were something “I wasn’t prepared for and hadn’t heard in 12 seasons,” says Aiken. But they’re also part of what keeps the show fresh. “Whatever’s going on out there in the dating world every year will appear on our show,” Aiken says. “That’s why it’s always new, it’s always topical.”
But it’s not just the contestants who change every year. For its first four seasons, MAFS was a calmer, quieter affair, more akin to a documentary than a salacious reality show. Then in season five, the format was tweaked to add weekly dinner parties and commitment ceremonies where drama was stoked between couples, and the show became a hit.
Along the way, MAFS has found new and often dastardly ways to pressure test its matches – this year that includes a new Final Test Week, in which couples nearing the finale will be given the chance to ditch their match for someone new.
The role of the three experts has changed, too. In recent years, MAFS has seen contestants involved in everything from run-of-the-mill cheating scandals to explosive fights, shockingly sexist remarks and the very public outing of an OnlyFans account.
Last season saw Davina Rankin and Dean Wells cheating on their TV spouses.Credit: Nine
As the on-screen antics have become ever lewder, the experts, once there just to guide couples through their newfound unions and offer sage relationship advice, have had to step in and call out bad behaviour as it happens. It’s a job the expert panel, completed by Mel Schilling and Alessandra Rampolla, don’t shy away from.
“It’s really important that we are able to hold people accountable – because otherwise [the show] might as well be Big Brother,” says Shilling. And viewers can expect to see plenty of that signature MAFS chaos in season 12. “The dinner parties, I would say, are the loudest and rawest we’ve ever had – and that’s saying something,” says Aiken.
Which isn’t to say anyone wants its constants to behave perfectly. The drama is key to the show’s watchability and the many water-cooler moments it sparks.
“This show is extremely raw and unfiltered,” says Aiken. “We have people who really are prepared to go there and lay their feelings out for the world to see – the good, the bad, the ugly. And that’s really what we want. We don’t want them guarded. We don’t want them trying to control their narrative or being aware of the cameras and how they might come across. What we want from our couples is to be authentic. And we have that this year.”
Dinner party drama on MAFS. Martha throws a glass of red wine over Cyrell.Credit: Nine
As the years have gone on, those working behind the scenes on MAFS have also had to contend with the shifting motivations of those putting their hand up for the show.
MAFS has launched some big careers – its most followed former contestants boast over 700,000 Instagram followers and now make a living as content creators – which means many applicants today see it as an easy path to fame.
“I mean, we’ve had to accept the fact that OnlyFans, social media, being an influencer, having a podcast, being on TV and, ultimately, wanting to leave the life you had before the show behind for fame and other trappings, that’s all there for them now – not just on our show, but on all reality shows,” says Aiken.
But while Rampolla agrees that it has become harder to find contestants who are genuinely looking for love, “that doesn’t mean that [contestants] don’t also really want someone in their life, and if they find someone they’re really compatible with, that they won’t really lean into it”.
Domenica Calarco (right) on MAFS.Credit: Nine
Not that their odds of finding a love match on MAFS are great – of the over 100 couples the show has matched across its decade-long run, just seven remain together today.
Whatever their drivers in applying for the show, Rampolla says, contestants are “giving us a peek into who they are as humans, their reactions, how they are in relationships, how they choose to speak and choose to react in certain situations, and that’s still fascinating for the audience.”
There are 20 contestants introduced in the early weeks of season 12, but Rampolla suggests keeping an eye on the key couple of Jackie and Ryan, as well as 28-year-old Melbourne girl Jamie, “who is very outspoken and very much a part of a lot of what happens in a lot of the different situations.”
And despite all the drama, there are still happy endings to be found. “We have a beautiful love story this year – more than one – but one in particular that just takes my heart,” says Rampolla. “But then in real life, after the experiment, a lot of things can go awry. So we’ll get a lot of that [drama] this season, and I think audiences will be shocked by it. It’ll give people a lot to talk about.”
Jules and Cameron from MAFS.Credit: Getty
THE MOST EXPLOSIVE MOMENTS IN MAFS HISTORY
Dean and Davina’s affair, season 5
Compared to what came after it, the “affair” between Dean Wells and Davina Rankin seems positively chaste. But it shocked viewers at the time and paved the way for countless couple swaps to come. Dean had been paired with Tracey Jewel, and Davina with Ryan Gallagher. But they decided they’d rather be with each other and started something on the side, sharing flirty texts and an on-screen kiss. But then Dean admitted the affair to the group and decided he’d rather stay with Tracey, after all, much to the dismay of Davina. Tracey initially forgave Dean, then left him at the altar in the final vows, rightly telling him he didn’t deserve her.
Martha and Cyrell’s dinner party showdown, season 6
It was Martha Kalifatidis versus Cyrell Paule in season 6, a feud that started when Martha shared a rumour that Cyrell’s hubby was hitting on another woman, escalated with a hotel room spat while Martha was mid-skincare routine, and came to an unforgettable boiling point at the weekly dinner party. In that now-iconic episode, Cyrell remarked that Martha’s TV hubby had “no balls” when it came to his wife. So Martha got up from her seat, calmly strolled over to Cyrell and tipped a glass of red wine over her hair. Cyrell, not exactly known for possessing a level head, retaliated in kind by chasing Martha and sloshing a glass of shiraz right back at her. Martha’s white dress was ruined, but two stars were born.
Toothbrushgate, season 7
Not every match on MAFS is a good one – case in point is Hayley Vernon and David Cannon. Love never quite bloomed between this season 7 couple, but their relationship reached a shocking low when David scrubbed dried faeces off the toilet bowl with his wife’s toothbrush, then popped it back next to the sink and let her keep using it for days. Hayley eventually found out about the pooey toothbrush and, unsurprisingly, that was the end of the road for her and David.
Bryce Ruthven, Melissa Rawson and their twins. How did their marriage survive Bryce ranking her “fourth”?
Bryce ranks his wife fourth, season 8
MAFS got another villain for the ages when Bryce Ruthven sat down with bride Melissa Rawson to take part in a challenge in which he had to rank every female contestant from most to least attractive. With Melissa sitting next to him, he placed her in the fourth position. “I think if I put you at number one, you’d be able to tell that [I’m lying],” he told his visibly upset TV wife. What’s perhaps most shocking is that the couple are still together – happily married with two kids.
Domenica smashes a wine glass, season 9
There’d been friction between Olivia Frazer and Domenica Calarco throughout season 9, but it was during a girls’ out night that things took a nasty turn. As the conversation grew heated, Olivia told Domenica off for how she speaks to people. It hit a nerve with Domenica, who yelled: “my entire f**king life I’ve been f**king told that my voice isn’t f**king enough”, stood up and dramatically smashed a wine glass on the table. Things would only go from bad to worse for the pair from there, with their feud becoming the centre point of the season.
“Muzzle your woman”, season 11
They’ve been dubbed the three most controversial words in MAFS history. Amidst a heated dinner table argument with Lauren Dunn, Jack Dunkley turned to her husband and asked him to “muzzle your woman” – an utterly retrograde fit of misogyny that appalled the contestants, judges and viewers alike.
THE WHO’S WHO OF MAFS: BEST AND WORST
Martha Kalifatidis and Michael Brunelli
When we first met Martha Kalifatidis and Michael Brunelli, it wasn’t clear whether they’d go the distance. Martha was a make-up artist from a big Greek family who unapologetically wanted a lot from life, Michael a long-haired and laissez-faire primary school teacher who was happy to go with the flow. But they worked at their relationship and true love bloomed – six years later, the pair are still happily coupled up and now have a two-year-old son. They’ve also built perhaps the most successful careers as content creators of any former contestants, with their videos often featuring Martha’s made-for-the-screen mum Mary (who now has over 100K Instagram followers of her own, becoming a social media influencer in her own right). Long may they reign as the undisputed MAFS power couple.
Jules Robinson and Cameron Merchant
Season 6’s other big success story was Jules Robinson and Cameron Merchant, a couple who were an easy fit from the get-go. They were a little older and wiser than most of the cast and set out to “inject as much reality as possible” into their faux marriage, by making room for domestic mundanity like going grocery shopping together. It worked. In the final episode, former cricket player Cam dropped a knee and asked hairdresser Jules to marry him – for real, this time. They’re still together and now have two kids, as well as thriving careers as content creators.
Martha Kalifatidis from Married at First Sight.
Domenica Calarco and Ella May Ding
Sometimes the truest power couples on MAFS are friends, not lovers. We can barely remember who their husbands were, but besties Domenica Calarco and Ella May Ding emerged as the undisputed star duo of season 9. The pair became fast friends on the show, with Ella’s calm voice of reason balancing Domenica’s fiery, headstrong nature. And when other contestants outed Domenica for having an OnlyFans account, Ella was one of the few to have Dom’s back, getting Australia onside by standing up to the slut shaming. They’d go on to launch a podcast post-MAFS but the good times didn’t last – for reasons that are still a little murky, the pair recently called time on both their audio venture and their friendship, spelling the end of an era.
Troy Delmege
He may have marched to the beat of his own drum, but there was just something undeniably endearing about goofball groom Troy Delmege. The season 5 star failed to find love with his original match, but happily shocked us all and rocked up to the reunion with fellow former contestant Carly Bowyer. Their union didn’t last, but his internet infamy lives on – a scene of Troy very enthusiastically brushing his teeth went so viral Ellen DeGeneres even played it on her talk show. Like everything Troy, it has to be seen to be believed.
Cyrell Paule
She was nicknamed Cyclone Cyrell for a reason. Cyrell Paule was not one to shy away from conflict, feuding with both Martha Kalifatidis and Jessika Power during her time on season 6 (still the show’s undisputed high point). But her unbridled authenticity ensured she remained a hero – or, at least, an enjoyable curiosity – through every stoush. Her match with ‘husband’ Nic Jovanovic didn’t last, but she’s gone on to shack up with Love Island’s Eden Dally. The pair are now reality show regulars, competing on shows like The Amazing Race and The Challenge.
Lucinda Light
As a 40-something free spirit from Byron Bay, Lucinda Light broke the mould for MAFS contestants. More concerned with matters of personal evolution than selling tooth whitening strips on Instagram, she charmed season 11 viewers with her warmth and relentless (but completely genuine) positivity. She was ever patient and kind with her husband Timothy Smith despite their obvious mismatch, and the pair have remained friends since their time on the show. Despite being a very different sort of social media figure, Lucinda has gone on to become one of the show’s most-followed stars online – and now has a debut book coming out in March.
Al Perkins
Al Perkins came to season 9 of MAFS utterly unable to adult, having spent the entirety of his 25 years on earth having his mum cook and do laundry for him. That could have made him a villain, but the Bondi-based carpenter was just so pure and loveable that Australia could collectively overlook his lack of life skills. And he sure knew how to do a shoey.
Married at First Sight airs 7:30pm, Monday, January 27 on Nine and 9Now.
