source : the age
“I’m afraid George Zivkovic’s suggestion of including the pontiff in the bunker for the 2028 Grand Final raises a few issues around impartiality,” writes Michael Johnston of Corlette. “The Rabbitohs in their liturgical colours of cardinal and myrtle would be looked upon favourably. Punishment for an infringement could range from three Hail Marys to eternal damnation in hell, rather than 10 minutes in the bin. My team should do well, because the sight of a Bulldog scoring a runaway try is truly a miracle. And don’t get me started on the potential clash between his holiness and God (aka Peter V’landys).” That’s all very well, but who’s going to explain the lack of Saints to him?
Al Wetten of Scarborough wonder: “Maybe the Pope can forgive a sin-bin offence?”
When it comes to horseflesh, we always knew Geoff Maynard of Paddington was a thinker: “The best solution to prevent ponies from drowning during water polo (C8) is to use seahorses.”
Brian Doughan of Leichhardt swears by the veracity of this tale: “Many years ago, I watched an Italian movie on SBS. One of the characters used some choice language to another, along the lines of ‘F… off, you f…wit.’ However, the subtitle (C8) came up with ‘Out of here, you scoundrel.’ At the end of the movie, the subtitler’s name appeared: Sister Mary Joseph. Nice.”
Dennis Fardy of Warriewood can provide a workaround: “When I was working in Thailand in the ’70s, the foreign TV shows were dubbed into Thai, but you could pick up the English dialogue on FM radio. Worked a treat.”
Now, it’s on to the subtitle’s slightly uppish sibling, the surtitle or, as they’d have you believe, the supertitle: “Try going to one of the opera houses in Prague where the surtitles are (naturally) translated from Italian to Czech,” says Nola Tucker from Kiama. “Not being too fluent in either language, it was a bit of a challenge at times so it helped to know the plot, although being opera, does it really matter?”
“I’m looking forward to filling out the Census,” says Jack Dikian of Mosman. “I’m going to count the bedrooms carefully, count the people twice, figure out if the bloke from next door has been using my Wi-Fi since 2018 and to be sure not to include the daughter’s boyfriend as he’s already outstayed his statistical significance.”
Column8@smh.com.au
No attachments, please.
Include name, suburb and daytime phone.
