I’m in my 60s and well-off. So why am I so reluctant to spend money?

I’m in my 60s. After a lifetime of working hard, doing all the right things – saving, investing, being diligent in managing my finances – I’m in a comfortable place. The house is paid off, there is enough in super. We’re doing well, we have enough. But I still find myself reluctant to spend the money. I’m still second-guessing reasonable expenses – do I need this, should I go for the cheaper option? I tell myself I’m being responsible, I don’t want to waste or squander money even if we have it. But I can also see the futility of having built wealth only to never spend it. How do I feel OK about spending more?

It sounds like, until now, the north star financially has been wealth accumulation. Naturally, this means that “success” looks like the numbers going up – the savings, investments, net-worth etc.

When this is the main goal, there’s only one scenario in which the numbers going down feels aligned with your north star – and that is taking on “good debt” for wealth creation.

Other than this, all spending feels like it’s against your primary goal. Because logically, mathematically, it is. Every dollar you spend is a dollar that hasn’t been saved or invested.

So, you end up evaluating every expense against your goal. Often, the measure becomes: “Do I really need this?” Maybe this is the formula you’ve been taught for financial responsibility – pay for your needs, rein in your wants. You can justify the “basics” and perhaps a little more – but after a point, you struggle to spend on something you don’t really need.

Sure, holidays are a staple, but first-class flights? No one really needs that. Sure, eating out once in a while is fine. But a fancy restaurant? That feels like a waste of money, frankly. Anything that isn’t “necessary” feels like a “waste” relative to the goal of wealth accumulation.

When you really boil it down, all wealth beyond security allows you to do is give you the option to experience different aspects of life.

But have you ever noticed that there are many wealthy people who really enjoy their money? They have nice houses, nice cars, the kids in private schools, and fancy holidays. If the goal was only to ever maximise wealth – why would rich people spend money?

Some people might think: they’re just wasteful, materialistic, financially irresponsible. And maybe some of them are. But not all of them. (I mean, let’s be real here – many of them had to have some hustle and smarts to get rich in the first place, right?)

See, the goal changes at a certain point.

For most people, wealth accumulation is about security. You’re told to save, invest in a well-diversified portfolio, max out your super contributions, pay off your home – and that is financial security. If you can get to retirement with a fully paid-off home and enough investments to cover your lifestyle expenses through retirement, then you’ve made it. You are financially independent.

This is good, sensible advice for most people (I recommend it).

But there is a level beyond security. Yes, one of those levels is power, status and all those other games that people play. But there is another level too – experiencing life on new levels.

When you really boil it down, that’s all that wealth beyond security allows you to do. It gives you the option to experience different aspects of life.

None of these aspects are necessary or required. They’re totally optional. No one “needs” a spare room, a fancy car or branded clothes. In a sense, these are luxuries, and luxury isn’t a “necessity”. It’s an experience.

So, the real question is not “how do I spend money?” but rather, what is it that excites you? What parts of life do you want to experience more of? What haven’t you explored? What gives you enjoyment? And how could your wealth enable you to experience more of that?

Do you want to get super fit? Hire a personal trainer. Do you love nature? Spend more time by the beach. Do you enjoy travelling? Go more often. Did you have hobbies you didn’t get to explore when you were younger – art, sports, music – that you could pick up again now?

The goal isn’t to spend for the sake of spending. The goal is to experience more of life. When that is your north star (not wealth accumulation), then spending money isn’t contradictory to your goal, it becomes something that can facilitate, fast-track and enhance it.

This switch, from wealth accumulation to enjoyment, is one that many people struggle to make after a lifetime of being stuck in the first phase. But if you’re open to it, this is the next chapter of your wealth journey that’s available to you.

It may not come easily at first, but I doubt that it’s a journey you’ll regret taking. Because in the end, you won’t be wondering, “Could I have made more money?” You’ll be wondering: “Could I have lived more?”

Paridhi Jain is a money and mindset coach who combines practical strategies with mindset transformation to help clients create more freedom and fulfilment in wealth, work and life. Find Paridhi at: skilledsmart.com.au

• Advice given in this article is general in nature and is not intended to influence readers’ decisions about investing or financial products. They should always seek their own professional advice that takes into account their own personal circumstances before making any financial decisions.

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