Laurie Daley can’t save the Blues. But I know just the man who can

Let me cut to the chase: Andrew Johns should be appointed NSW Origin coach for 2027 on a one-year contract. No ifs, no buts, no prevarications.

This is what we know so far:

• Laurie Daley is a lovely bloke, but also the exemplar of a supreme player who has proven not to be of equal calibre as a coach. When the NSW Origin team lose the so-called “decider” in Brissie on July 8, it will mean Daley will have won just one of the seven Origin series he has coached. We all know it – he can’t hold on to the gig with those numbers.
• The most accomplished coach in the NSW ranks right now is Ivan Cleary, but he will not be available until 2028 after he finishes up with the Panthers.
• If Johns is not the most astute analyst in the game, there is only Greg Alexander and Cooper Cronk who could argue the toss with him. Johns bleeds blue like no other, and you can see his clear frustration after every debilitating loss. He wants to burst out “WTAF???” and only just manages to hold it in, at least on camera.

• And yes, I know, in previous years Johns has said he’s not available to coach NSW as he doesn’t want the pressure. I don’t care. That’s just too bad, Andrew. Stop being so selfish. This is not about you, it’s about the Blues, remember? Is there any part of “They bloody well NEED the smarts and passion you have in such abundance!” that is not clear? You’ve been boiling over with what needs to be done, so let’s bloody well see it. Just for one season. We’ll all lean in. You are the Peter Sterling of your day. You can see stuff that the rest of us are blind to, and as coach will be able to make your players see it, too. You are often described as the footballer of your generation. We don’t need you to be the coach of your generation. We need you to coach the Blues for a couple of stinking months in 2027. Is that really such a big ask?

And listen, Andrew, when I ran this by one of your old teammates to see what he thought, he said: “Brilliant idea. He’d never make it as a club coach, but for this, he’d be perfect. But don’t wait until next year, throw him in right now. This series is already over bar the shouting, so what have they got to lose?”

Izzy serious?

Israel Folau still doesn’t get it. This week it has emerged that while he was indeed close to getting a contract with the likes of Wests Tigers, in the end the game decided that taking on board someone with his amount of baggage was more trouble than it’s worth.

In response, a hurt Folau posted: “The double standard from the @nrl is crazy. The game talks about inclusion, yet my Christian beliefs were said to be a problem and didn’t align with their values. At the same time, players who’ve committed actual offences have been welcomed back. Make it make sense.”

Israel, you’ve come to the right place. No one at the NRL or Rugby Australia gives a flying ruck that you are a Christian, and that was not the reason doors closed on you. The issue was you were spouting homophobic gibberish, and it was no less homophobic gibberish because you claim it fits under your religious umbrella.

You put your name and weight to that gibberish, which is about as exclusionary as it gets, saying all gay people are going to burn in hell. So spare us your unrepentant whinges about being excluded from a mere garden variety football contract. No doubt it hurts, but don’t you reckon it’d hurt worse if the NRL started proselytising you should burn in hell?

Think about it. And repent.

A Klein mess

The Ashley Klein saga has been well covered in these pages. Having a referee with an acknowledged serious gambling problem and excusing it on the grounds that he insists he never placed bets on NRL games is like allowing an air-traffic controller or brain surgeon with a serious drinking problem to continue on the promise that they’ll never drink on work days. They might be right, but is that really best practice?

Most gob smacking is that the NRL itself presided over the whole mess without seeing the problem. As far as they are concerned, it’s business as usual!

How can that be? It can only be because their whole business and its leading executives are in gambling up to their eyeballs.

ARL Commission chairman Peter V’landys is also the CEO of Racing NSW. Gambling entities are among the biggest sponsors of NRL teams, appearing on jerseys and at stadiums. Gambling ads and odds are all over the broadcasts. For years rugby league has embraced gambling not as a necessary evil, but as a key commercial partner to be celebrated.

All up, it means they simply cannot see what everyone with half a brain can see.

Just as justice must not only be done, it must be seen to be done. So, too, must a referee not only be absolutely balanced and fair, he must be seen to be balanced and fair.

I don’t say that Klein has ever, or would ever, corrupt himself by making a decision with the whistle to sway a game for gambling interests. I do say that from what we know that suspicion will always be around, and once toxic suspicion enters the game’s bloodstream it will sicken further.

Spartan existence for the Knicks

It was a big week for the New York Knicks after they won their first NBA championship in 53 years.

What’s interesting is that in April, Knicks owner James Dolan exhorted the team: “Sacrifice everything you got these next 10 weeks to win that championship … Maybe you should give up sex for the next 10 weeks. You don’t have to give up sex for the next 10 weeks – BUT – like the Spartans, you know what Spartans are? They denied themselves, right? So that they can have an edge. Get the edge.”

And it worked!

Still, I can’t resist quoting the great league coach Jack Gibson on the same subject. Asked whether players should avoid sex before a game, he replied: “It’s not the sex that worries me, it’s the staying out all night looking for it.”

In Test cricket, back in the halcyon days of the 1970s when men were men and all true men had handlebar moustaches, the late Max Walker once said to me the rule was: “No sex the night before the Test – unless you’re in danger of not getting any for the next five days.”

Truth, injustice and the American way

Here is singer Sheryl Crow saying what needs to be said about Donald Trump’s “UFC Freedom 250” event: “To stay quiet means to turn a blind eye. And so I am saying this. What happened last night on the lawn of the White House was disgraceful and void of decency. Powerful, rich people filled the lawn to watch a violent sport that ended with a vile and racist comment. All while the average American cannot afford healthcare, gas, and cost of living. Do not be fooled. This administration … does not give a damn about the American people. It only cares about making money hand over fist at the expense and in spite of our democracy. If we continue to support this kind of distraction from reality, we are no better than them. Let’s be better, America.”

To this, Hunter Biden made an eloquent point.

“This ‘celebration’ could have happened in any stadium within a stone’s throw of the South Lawn. No one would have had an issue with it. But that was obviously Donald Trump’s whole point. By holding the event on the South Lawn, what he was saying to the rest of us is: ‘This is my house. I own it. I will do with it what I please. I’ll build a colosseum and have the gladiators fight under my gaze. I’ll tear down the East Wing. I’ll pave over the Rose Garden. I’ll cover everything in gold and marble. I’ll erase the names of all the men who came before me.’ The fights were an exhibition of imperial domination, not a celebration of our 250th anniversary as a democracy. The White House is not Buckingham Palace. It is not the Palace of Versailles. It is not the Forbidden City of Beijing. It does not belong to an emperor, or a king, or a commissar. The White House belongs to us. All of us. The person who sits behind the Resolute Desk in the Oval Office is nothing more than an honored guest. A temporary caretaker. The President is our servant. Not our Caesar.

Respectfully, Hunter

“P.S. Cage match between me and Don Jr? Your call on the venue. Anywhere but the South Lawn.”

What they said

Canadian Courtney Amlinger on having the Socceroos match in Vancouver: “It’s a good energy in the city. I’d say the last time it was like this was when Taylor Swift came to town, but this is 20 times better.”

Australia’s Connor Metcalfe on his goal against Turkey: “When I saw that ball go in, the feeling that went through my body – I can’t explain it.”

Liberal front-bencher Garth Hamilton responds to the de facto opposition leader’s call for Australia to abandon multiculturalism and become a monoculture: “Is [Pauline] Hanson going to regulate cultural practice in Australia? Can I still attend the opera or do I have to go to a league game?”

GWS’ Jake Stringer, on the “disgrace” of the AFL scheduling the Giants match against St Kilda at the same time as the Socceroos’ opening match against Turkey: “Let us watch the Aussies. It’s once every four years. Don’t put the games on at the same time. They want attendance, they want people to watch – no one’s watching [the AFL], everyone’s going to watch the World Cup.”

His Giants’ teammate Toby Greene felt the same: “No one’s going to watch our game … like I wouldn’t watch our game. I love footy as much as anyone, but I’m watching the Socceroos on Sunday if I had the choice.”

Nestory Irankunda on his goal against Turkey: “They all have the belief in me to do so well, and I felt like today getting that goal, it was amazing … Timmy Cahill’s my biggest inspiration when it comes to football, him and Lionel Messi. Tim Cahill, Australia’s greatest in my opinion, and I just thought if I scored I’d do the same [shadow boxing the corner flag celebration] as him, and I got to do it.”

FIFA on their rubbery crowd numbers: “Official attendance figures reflect the number of tickets scanned and spectators present within the stadium footprint, rather than visual assessments of seating occupancy at any given moment during the match.” Gibberish.

Turkish captain Hakan Calhanoglu before they played Australia: “I think we will dominate the game, because we have more qualities and a more talented team.”

Calhanoglu after Turkey’s loss to Australia: “We dominated today, Australia was just behind, defending good. Two long goals, they scored. It was our mistakes … I think we did a good game, just we didn’t score.”

Interim Essendon coach Dean Solomon after yet another loss: “Our brand, it wasn’t our brand, the way we wanted to play in and around contests.”

Jalen Brunson after leading the Knicks to the NBA title: “I have no words. It’s everything I ever dreamed of.”

The Spurs’ Victor Wembanyama after the loss: “This is the biggest lesson of my life, the biggest learning moment. I can’t tell exactly what the lesson is, but we’re learning.”

Wembanyama when leaving the press conference: “Appreciate y’all. See y’all … never.”

Emma Raducanu on making the final at Queens after some time in the wilderness: “I wouldn’t say it’s necessarily the old Emma. I think it’s the new Emma.” Can you find the Emma that doesn’t talk about herself in the third person?

Dana White on the UFC thingammmy at the Dana White House: “I’ll never do the Sphere again, and we’ll never do this again.”

Phil Gould giving the NSW selectors some advice: “I’ve got some advice for them: stop listening to advice, stop listening to people in the media, stop listening to experts on panels, stop reading papers, and sit down and analyse the game, get a game plan together and pick a team that can execute the game plan. It’s very frustrating our selection process, I’m afraid. Stop taking advice.” It’s always odd when Phil bags “the media” as if he’s nowt but the piano player in the whorehouse, but OK.

Team of the week

Socceroos. Beat Turkey in the World Cup, and even as you have your early Weet-Bix the smorning, are taking on the USA. My hope is that they are smashing them like guitars.

Australian women’s sevens team. Won the veritable “World Series” of women’s rugby by beating, among others, New Zealand. And if there is a better footballer in the country right now than Maddison Levi I have not seen him or her. She is the new La Stupenda.

Balmain Bowling Club. In a sign of the times, the club that was established in 1880, shut up shop.

New York Knicks. Broke a 53-year drought to win the NBA title, beating the San Antonio Spurs.

Chiefs and Hurricanes. Contesting the Super Rugby final on Saturday.

Brisbane Broncos. Smashed again. Rarely has a premiership-winning team been so woeful the following year.

Leichhardt Oval. The grand old dame closed for renovations.

Cape Verde. Amazing result to draw against Spain at the World Cup. Just the left foot of the lowest ranked Spanish player is worth more on the soccer market than the entire Cape Verde team, but somehow they held on.